I committed to spend a certain amount of time in prayer during the month of April.  I entered this with high expectations - and still have them. After all, this is just day 5 of 30 days.  But I imagined a more steady journey.  One day prayer was intense, hard work.  Not that praying was hard - but it became an emotionally and spiritually exhausting time.  The following day God took me into the Psalms and into an extended time of rest and peaceful prayer.  The burdens of the previous day were there, but God provided a needed relief.  This has been followed with a day of distractions and a day of wondering if God is hearing me.  It seemed that God was silent.  When God is silent I become very restless and begin to question if I'm even on the right track.  My mind raced first to Psalm 8.  Sitting in the field behind my house, the moon was shining and I recalled that God put that moon in the sky along with the stars and planets...and He has time for me.  Then I was reminded of Psalm 46:10.  "Be still and know that i am God."  I'm reminded once again that when God is silent that is the time for me to be still and know He is in control, He hasn't forgotten me, and that He is God.

 Romans 10:14-15 (NIV)  Now, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"

Imagine - you don't know how  to read.  Why should you? Your language is oral, not written.  There is no alphabet.  There is no concept of writing anything down.  I would be in big trouble because I could never write down my to do lists from my wife.  Of course, there would be no bible.  No way to read God's Word.  No way to meditate on God's Word.  I'm reminded of Romans 10, as Paul quotes from Isaiah - "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"  Coming out of the Grace Church Global Impact Conference, I'm reminded of the many different ways people bring good news to every corner of the globe.  I'm especially captivated by those who devote years in deciphering a language, creating an alphabet, teaching literacy - and for the first time every, watching an oral society morph into a literate society.  Then - the task of translating God's Word into this new language.  Once a people get God's Word in their "heart language" and they learn to read it - their lives are never the same.   

Today was sort of weird.  Actually, this week has been somewhat strange: spiritually that is.  I've been thinking about prayer, praying about prayer, reading about prayer - yet vacillating between guilt for not praying enough or well enough and anticipation for God's answer to some specific, personal prayers.  I thought today's sermon would really come together, but I wrestled all week long.  Actually, I'm rather frustrated with my feeble attempt to talk about prayer.  The nature of prayer seems more conducive to "doing it" than talking about it.  This evening I went on a prayer walk.  Ok, not the typical prayer walk.  I took Cody, my dog, and went on a walk to pray.  This is the cool thing about talking with God.  I started off complaining to God over my lame attempt today and ended with God speaking peace into my spirit, giving some needed direction.  The events of the day didn't change, but my perspective changed. 
Prayer changes things, beginning with me.  What a privilege we have to actually talk with God.

Do you ever feel like you hit the wall?  I do sometimes.  Trying to balance work responsibilities, family time, dealing with expectations...you know - it's easy to run out of steam.  Everyone's personality is different.  But I've found that when I run out of steam (rather spiritual, emotional or physical) I have to fight discouragement.  I start losing sight of the big picture of what God is doing through my life.  I'm working through a five week series at Grace entitled , "Destiny - Experiencing God's Purpose in Your Life."  When I fight discouragement I lose sight of God's purpose and find myself wide open to Satanic attack.  I'm thinking of how Joseph must have been discouraged, disappointed, dejected (can I think of any more "d" words?) when his brothers sold him out.  Genesis Chapter 37 tells the story.  The story resumes in Chapter 39 with Joseph @ Potipher's house.  These words ring in my heart from verse 2.  "The Lord was with Joseph."  God reminded me, once again, that the promise of His presence is real.  He told Joshua Joshua 1:9 (NLT)
This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”   God is with us when we're out of steam, God is with us when life deals unexpected blows, God is with us - even when we don't see the immediate, tangible evidence.  The tangible evidence comes when we trust.  Trust in the promise of His presence.  My prayer is that God will help me learn that kind of trust.

I’m in Champaign, Illinois this week visiting my oldest son who attends school out here.  You think Jersey is cold?  It was -17 the other day.  My legs became numb walking from the parking lot into the admin building.   A discussion in his Literature of the Western World class morphed from Walt Whitman into a discussion of the destructive influence of religion on society.   He was put off by the blind acknowledgement of this premise.  I thought about it and have to acknowledge that religion has been responsible for some detestable actions throughout history.  When I talk about religion I'm speaking of the human institutions representing various belief systems, including Christianity, Islam, and Judaism.  The follower of Christ, at least this follower of Christ, believes religion is an anathema to be avoided.  True Christianity is not a religion but a relationship.  That statement is nearly a cliché, but it’s true.  However, I wondered what responsibility do we bear in fostering the hostile attitude towards God held by many people?    Somewhat ironically I was reading through Romans 2 as my devotional.  Paul quotes Isaiah 52 saying   “As it is written: "God's name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.” (Rom 2:24)  He was referring to Jews who, while judging others, bragged about following the law, yet failed.  In the passage Paul tells us that God’s law is written in every person’s heart.  In Romans 1 he tells us that knowledge of God is instinctive for all people.  So it’s a real disconnect to non believers when those who claim to follow God, who claim to obey God, live in such a way that contradicts what they say they believe.  The non believer can sense hypocrisy a mile away without ever having been taught God's commands.  In Romans 1 Paul lists some of the areas in which people sin. They include “big” sins such as murder and perversion.  But the list also includes “respectable sins” such as gossip, envy and divisiveness.  These kinds of sin seem to be tolerated in the church to a wide degree.  How often has the witness of the church led people to blaspheme the name of God?  How often have we, have I, allowed the “respectable sins” to be a barrier to someone coming to Christ?  

God is rattling my cage.  He's challenging my notion of how He works in my life, how He relates, how He leads. This shouldn't surprise me because I've been praying since last March that He would take me into a deeper relationship with Him, one less defined by daily responsibilities and more open to what His Spirit would do through my life.  This might seem odd to say as a pastor, but at least for me, I find I have a tendency to allow my daily responsibilities to become my routine.  Routine is not bad unless it keeps you from breaking your routine.  Then routine becomes predictable and the predictable can become a very safe cage in which to live;  a place where one doesn't take risks or bold steps of faith.  I think I've been living there for the past several months.  But God is rattling my cage.   I'm was at Borders with my daughter.  She brought a stack of books and informed me she planned to begin a bible study group with several friends from school.  She wanted to know which book I thought would be good.  Most of the books were written by C.S. Lewis.  In her arms she carried "The Weight of Glory", "Screwtape Letters", "The Great Divorce", and "Mere Christianity".  Then she showed me another book entitled "Wild Goose Chase."  Hmm.  I set that aside.  At first glance it looked like a novella.  I wasn't sure what to make of it.  I told her I thought "Mere Christianity" would be a good starting place.  As she pondered her choices I picked up "Wild Goose Chase" by Mark Batterson.  I read the jacket cover and the table of contents. (Isn't that what you do when you're scoping out a new book?)  Then I made the mistake of reading the first page, then the second and... well you get my drift.  I bought the book for myself.  As I read "circumstantial uncertainty also goes by another name: Adventure", God shook my heart.  Shake, rattle and roll.  That's my God.  He shakes my preconceived notions, rattles my cage and rolls me over with His humor and grace.  I may not have a velvet Elvis hanging on my wall but I'm definitely into the music.